Another reason to feel guilty - sure, cuz mom's don't already feel enough of that! I've got noth'n, no real movement up or down on that darn scale. Coming into 2-1/2 months until HI - tick, tock. Who needs this level of pressure .. me, apparently! I honestly do pretty well throughout the day but once home all bets are off. Why ... cuz I'm hungry and don't know what to fix for dinner. Kids are crazy with excitement about their day and being home, want to eat but no one knows what to fix. So I snack, snack on most anything I can that's easy. Salty and sweet ... what could be better.
We all do the best we can and sometimes we can do better (this is me). I need someone to kick my sorry butt (literally and figuratively). Perhaps I should buy my HI swimsuit as my focus! That commercial for yogurt comes to mind, "she wore an itsy bitsy, teeny, weenie yellow poke-a-dot bikini." Promise no one will be seeing me in a bikini - certainly not an itsy bitsy one!
I'll get there ... anyone know a good personal trainer!
Thanks for reading and supporting me during this up-hill struggle.
Nick
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Being a Mom ......
How would you fill in the blank? Probably depends on the day or even the moment. Every day brings new and exciting challenges being a parent. Today, mine was Ben. Sweet, loveable Ben. Ben will be 3 early July; he's very intelligent (thank you Montessori) and socially immature. For over a year we've had the same conversation with him; no hit, no throw, no kick, truly the list goes on. We would say, "he's only one" now we say "he's only two" Well he's getting ready to turn three and here we are.
Today was just as any other day in the life of the Fletcher crew. I arrived at school about 5p to pick up the kids; start with Carson who was eager and excited to see me. Stops his work and runs up to give me a big hug. Such a powerful feeling. We head down to pick up Ben. I walk in, notice a note on the white-board regarding the kids field trip tomorrow and I hear, "Mara (pause) Mara (pause) Mara." It was one of the teachers saying my name in a calm, nothing unusual or difference in her tone. We have a good, fun, humorous relationship. So I wasn't paying a lot of attention to her but rather trying to read about the field trip. As she walks over to me, she hands me an incident report and says "I'll just let you read it."
Imagine what I'm thinking at this point. The first section says "talked to Ben about his behavior and choices were not ok. He lost his play ground time." Okay, moving on to the section titled "Inappropriate behavior - he threw a plastic playhouse chair in a child's face causing the child to get a bloody nose."
How would you react? I can't even remember my initial reaction; shocked, horrified, sick to my stomach and silent. Of course I asked who, girl or boy? Girl and overall she is okay but has a bad mark on her nose. I signed the form, quickly gathered the kids and silently left the building.
Now what? I calmly explained to Ben he lost all privileges for the night and that he would be spending the night in his room. No blanket, no movie, no nothing but in your room; bath and dinner only. Didn't phase him. When asked why, "I don't know" he says with an infuriating smirk. Surprisingly I remained mostly calm. Brian got home and tried the same things - nothing got through; at least it seemed that way. Until it was time for bed and all he wanted was his blanket. Cried for about 2-hrs wanting his blanket. Both Brian and I went in and reminded him of his poor choice today and that he had lost blanket. Tomorrow was a new day and we'd work on being a big boy again in the morning.
I am so deeply angry and embarrassed (with myself), frustrated (with Ben & me), loads and loads of self doubt (the list is too long to go into but we can start with my new job), and all-in-all just want to have a good cry.
Being a Mom … is truly a life test. I’m horrible at taking tests but I’m not too proud to admit when I fail and on occasion pass. Today’s test; my fingers are still crossed that I pass.
Thanks for reading,
Nick
Today was just as any other day in the life of the Fletcher crew. I arrived at school about 5p to pick up the kids; start with Carson who was eager and excited to see me. Stops his work and runs up to give me a big hug. Such a powerful feeling. We head down to pick up Ben. I walk in, notice a note on the white-board regarding the kids field trip tomorrow and I hear, "Mara (pause) Mara (pause) Mara." It was one of the teachers saying my name in a calm, nothing unusual or difference in her tone. We have a good, fun, humorous relationship. So I wasn't paying a lot of attention to her but rather trying to read about the field trip. As she walks over to me, she hands me an incident report and says "I'll just let you read it."
Imagine what I'm thinking at this point. The first section says "talked to Ben about his behavior and choices were not ok. He lost his play ground time." Okay, moving on to the section titled "Inappropriate behavior - he threw a plastic playhouse chair in a child's face causing the child to get a bloody nose."
How would you react? I can't even remember my initial reaction; shocked, horrified, sick to my stomach and silent. Of course I asked who, girl or boy? Girl and overall she is okay but has a bad mark on her nose. I signed the form, quickly gathered the kids and silently left the building.
Now what? I calmly explained to Ben he lost all privileges for the night and that he would be spending the night in his room. No blanket, no movie, no nothing but in your room; bath and dinner only. Didn't phase him. When asked why, "I don't know" he says with an infuriating smirk. Surprisingly I remained mostly calm. Brian got home and tried the same things - nothing got through; at least it seemed that way. Until it was time for bed and all he wanted was his blanket. Cried for about 2-hrs wanting his blanket. Both Brian and I went in and reminded him of his poor choice today and that he had lost blanket. Tomorrow was a new day and we'd work on being a big boy again in the morning.
I am so deeply angry and embarrassed (with myself), frustrated (with Ben & me), loads and loads of self doubt (the list is too long to go into but we can start with my new job), and all-in-all just want to have a good cry.
Being a Mom … is truly a life test. I’m horrible at taking tests but I’m not too proud to admit when I fail and on occasion pass. Today’s test; my fingers are still crossed that I pass.
Thanks for reading,
Nick
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
