Pronouced in my head as "ce-la-cath". Does anyone remember the old Volkswagan TV commerial where two guys are looking in the trunk of a Jetta or variation of and says, "what once was lost is now found" Coelacanth ... it's a type of fish "they" thought was extinct but scientists found alive somewhere (more detail; http://www.dinofish.com/) . It was also a question on Jepordy! several years ago for which I acutally knew the answer to, thanks VW. Turns out the guys looking in the trunk were thrilled to find a full-size spare tire. Okay ... so you had to see the ad to really get it.
I ramble on about this for two reasons, 1) I can, it is my blog, and 2) more importantly it's how I feel about myself. Hence the title of my blog, "Once was lost is now found, almost." Though in my mid-thirties (which is young I know) I don't know that I have ever made a name for myself; stood out in a crowd. Ever truly defined who I am or what I want to be when I grow up. I always knew growing up what was expected of me; follow the rules, don't make waives, go to college, etc. So I feel I learned to never speak up, ask questions; was always the quiet, shy one in the corner, make nice - do what needs to be done to keep everyone happy. I remain highly self-conscious and with that always worry what others think. Fear of confrontation because I'm afraid to speak up for myself and worry what others will think.
The good news through all of this; I'm aware of it and now I start the slow road to learning who Mara Fletcher really is. Or, "Nick" as I think I'll use in this blog. Why Nick ... cuz I truly love this nickname. My very dear, long time best-friend Juli - her dad is famous for giving out nicknames. During college I would ask daily what my nickname was going to be. One day he said to me, so excited, "I have your nickname!" Such joy and excitement I felt to finally have a nickname ... "Nick" he said! Short for nickname ... as much as I love this nickname it has never truly taken hold - except for Juli's dad (bless him!). Partly because I love Nick and partly because I'm so self-conscious of my name (I know, I'm working on it) I'm going to use Nick.
I know there is more to me than being an adopted daughter, survivor, friend, ex-wife, wife, employee, supervisor, and mom.
Thanks for reading,
Nick
About Me
- Nick
- I hope through this blogging process I learn more about me, my true interestes, and what I love about life. While I treasure and love being a daughter, friend, wife, and mom - I also know there's a whole lot more to me. I'm challenging myself to find it and write about it to share with family and friends.
1 comment:
My Dear Friend,
I have never in my life been so proud of you as I read your first three entries. I have watched you time and time again accomplish things that have blown me away with your personal strength to move through life. I pray that I might have your poise and loving heart should I ever face such challenges. Sharing yourself here -all of you, the real you - is so much of what I admire about you. You have moved me to tears as I hear again about the stories of your past. I hope to learn from your current journey of self expression. Thank you for loving yourself enough to move through the hard times and to take your closest friends with you. I love the beautiful, strong woman that you are and I am so thankful that I get to ride along your journey. Know that I will always be here for you. Girl, look at you blossom!
Love and Hugs,
J
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