What does Mother's Day mean to you?

My hope for each mom ‘out-there’ is that Mother’s Day is significantly different from every other day on the calendar. To step away from the daily grind, without guilt, and take a bit of time for her. Unfortunately, I suspect for many this may not be the case – for whatever reason. I, personally, do not have a definition, an expectation, or dream about what Mother’s Day should be or how it should look. My only hope is that families don’t need a specific day on the calendar to be reminded about how special moms are and what they do for us each day.

Can all you mom’s out there honestly let go of the daily grind and actually relax? For an entire day; no obsessing over all that needs to be cleaned, organized, and planned. I’ve mentioned before, I don’t know how to truly relax (unless I’m on a beach in Hawaii, but then I just find other things to obsess over). Sure I can check out for a few hours; read a book, get a massage, whatever my choosing but in the back of my mind I’m thinking about what will need to be done when I get home. How far behind am I falling on my, admittedly self imposed, to do list. It’s a frustrating, crazy, vicious circle – how to stop the madness?

My Mother’s Day this year was nice, though I must admit there was a moment, out of pure frustration, I said I hated Mother’s Day (yes, I used the “h” word). So not fair to my wonderfully attentive husband who tries so hard to manage all life throws his way, especially moi! The kids were up super late Saturday night (11p, their usual bedtime is 730p) so I thought it best for them to sleep as long as they like. I got up and started cleaning the kitchen from the night before; family BBQ birthday party – good time had by all! Brian all but begs me to stop, “it’s Mother’s Day” he says. “I know” I respond back, “it’s no big deal, really. And it needs to get done.” Crazy Ben wanted so badly to bring me breakfast in bed, has been asking for weeks. But he got up so late and all I wanted was a quick English muffin – his disappointment ended quickly when he was able to help me open my surprise gifts.

My obsession with the Twilight saga continues and Brian mercifully continues to indulge me by getting me the 3-disc movie set – complete with 2-disc’s of special features. I am spoiled – all I wanted to do was run to the closest DVD player and veg. Along with the new Taylor Swift CD (yes, CD – I do not have an iPod) and a pineapple corer I was all set with a grand Mother’s Day celebration. But then Brian takes off mid-morning to spend time with his mom on her special day. He spends a few hours, comes home for a few minutes, and runs back out to kindly pick up his grandparents up North for a family dinner at Brian’s dad’s house. Perhaps I do have a secret expectation for Mother’s Day for which I did not truly realize (or shamefully acknowledge). I, clearly, very selfishly want ‘my’ time on ‘my’ day.

What would I have loved; my family breakfast no matter how much or how long; a few hours for me to watch my new DVD’s and take a long, hot shower – which is my favorite thing to do - and then reconnect with my family to do late afternoon plans. A nice balance between family time and me time; is that possible? Of course it is, especially if I actually mention to Brian that this is something I would like. Doesn’t have to be a Hallmark calendar day; any weekend day I know he’d do that for me. The problem for me; I’d have to communicate this need. I’d have to verbalize what I would like – getting my finger nails pulled out one by one would be easier and less painful than to ask Brian for some me time. There are many reasons why; stubborn (yes, my own worst enemy) fear of showing weakness, he has MS – he shouldn’t have to worry me and my needs (which, of course, drives him crazy), and I’ve never truly spoken up for myself. You do what needs to be done no matter the circumstances; my life motto {unfortunately}.

Clearly I’m a tad out of touch with the real world and I need to adjust my ways cuz it just ain't working for me or my family. I’m a stubborn protector of both my family and my heart. The anger and frustration builds and ultimately blows up and I wonder why so difficult to communicate? My mom is somewhat proud of her story raising myself and two older brothers with this comment she frequently shares. I didn’t have to talk; my brother’s did it for me. That speaks volumes today, without a doubt. I will find my own voice and own it; learning to speak up for myself – loud and proud, maybe that will be my wish when I blow out 36 candles in a couple of weeks.

So, what does Mother’s Day really mean to you? And how is it different than any other calendar day, or is it? The the challenge begin ...

Thanks for reading,
Nick